Ayoola sat on the table, sobbing quietly. She wanted to call him. Sending an email seemed harsh but she had so many things that needed to be said; she couldn’t let him cut her off mid-sentence.
It began with a “Hi Olu” but that was quickly deleted. This was a matter of urgency, she decided and begun typing.
I need something for right now. Something I can hold, touch, prick and squeeze. So, I can’t agree to wait for you, another year. I need my own happiness. To see my love’s laughter that is not through a screen. Everything you said, that I questioned was always retorted with “It’s complicated”. How many complications can one person have? So many complications that I can not understand. Do you know that I still love you? And you think I am here in Lagos sleeping with any man that walks by but I say no to every advance because I am waiting for you.
But I’m tired of waiting. You know that I always say yes and that I never know when to quit but I’m learning now that if I don’t grab my happiness by the throat someone will snatch it away me. The cards are laid bare on the table. I am quitting this thing that we have and I am sorry that I didn’t tell you sooner.
I am not saying yes to you once more because my happiness needs to be the important thing, now. Not your dreams nor your family problems nor your academics. MY HAPPINESS.
As her mouse cursor hovered over the Send button, her phone vibrated.
“Babe, we need to talk. I’m sorry I haven’t been available. I’m done with exams now. Pls message me once you see this. I love you.”
His text was short and straight to the point. She had missed his bluntness. She didn’t know when she hit Backspace and erased the entire email.
“I will try this one more time” she thought to herself, typing a reply to his text. “Just one more time.”